Life is like a screenplay, every day we get up and perform. Some give Oscar-winning performances, yet still await the prize. Some make little effort and walk off with the pot of gold. Bult most of us have to work, hard, very hard in order to make progress of some sort.
I am one of those who have to work hard, extremely hard. In the past, my fight was made harder because I said one thing in my heart, another in my head, and done something completely different with my time. I now work towards linning all aspects up so they are working in perfect harmony. I would love to write a blog suggesting I’ve fully conquered that side of my life, but I’m still a working progress.
For me getting up has never really been the problem, getting up and getting dressed is where I often fell short. Throughout my years of depression getting up came naturally, getting out of the bed, bathing, and getting dressed was my weak point. Today many of us have dreams, proving dreaming is not the problem. Writing them, down, making a plan, and executing them when we don’t feel like it is where we fall short!
I came into this lockdown with big plans to use my time wisely. Get things in place so when I returned to work the foundation for my personal dreams would be set, with things in place for me to build on. That was the dream until I had to get up and out of bed every day, get dressed, and perform off my own initiative and motivation.
I never bargained on the mental numbness triggered by the silence of the walls that surround me. I never bargained on the lack of motivation and frustration caused by the lack of motivation. I never bargained on my own personal resistance against something that I wanted and desired. Some days getting dressed has been a chore. Looking out my window I wondered if I was the only one feeling this way. The only one who had it down packed in theory but was struggling emotionally, mentally, and physically.
Every time I saw someone’s social media feed displaying some great accomplishment, I felt a level of anger, irritation, and defeatism, not a good place to be when you’re trying to be optimistic and positive. But the good thing about laying in bed is that at some point you have to get up! Even if you don’t want to get up and shower, get up and get dressed, eat or even brush your teeth, you have to get up to use the loo! And once you’re up, you have proved to yourself that you have the determination and will power to do so.
I Got Up
Nine years ago, I got up and every day since then I’ve been getting up and getting dressed. I cover my mind in prayer each morning. I do my best to feed my body what it needs to survive and try to exercise, then I physically get dressed and aim to start my day.
If like me you have struggled with mental health, or now find yourself having to fight to maintain your mental wellbeing, getting up and getting dressed, emotionally, spiritually, and physically is a must.
This past week, I’ve managed to get up and show up, but I’m still not as driven as I would like to be. I feel the pull of my old self trying to keep me isolated mentally, but within me is a fire fulled with the frustration to break free, which means it’s time to up my game.
Searching through the department store of life, it was nice to know I had conquered certain areas of my mindset. But it was time for another mental promotion. Time to bring out the officewear. I wasn’t quite ready for the executive suits, but I had earned my way to associate level. If you don’t recognise when its time to change your outfits, you’ll be left wearing flipflops in the rain.
On Sunday, laying in bed feeling a little deflated by thoughts running through my mind, I tried getting up without getting dressed, after all, it was Sunday, a day of rest. My attempt to stay in bed while reading my bible was a flop. Within minutes of kidding myself, I was up showered and dressed.
I was at a crossroads, I had gone as far as I could go on my own. The past few weeks on lockdown had highlighted both my strengths and weaknesses and my strengths were gaining momentum, exposing the fact that I now needed help. It was time to go shopping for new clothes. I had been struggling for a while to connect with God intimately, but bathed and clothed I lay on the bed and reaching deep within prayed a prayer of life and not death overt my life, my dreams, and my purpose.
Isolated and home alone I had pushed and motivated myself as much as I could. I had outgrown my present garments and was in need of some new mental apparel. The change of season and growth sprout had left me feeling uncomfortable, for all the right reasons. It wasn’t that nothing would ever change, but more like I had changed.
Pushing aside the heaviness, I made a call and asked for help. Determined to succeed, I pushed myself refusing to accept haunted worlds from my past. When I look back over my life, I may not be where I want to be, just yet, but I am not the depressed woman I used to be either. God and hard work have got me to this point and every day I am climbing higher because I choose to get up and get dressed.
I Got Up And I Got Dressed!
I clothe myself in the truth. I clothe myself in productivity, even if it is baby steps. I clothe myself in the Word of God. I clothe myself with the right people around me. I clothe myself in determination to learn, inspire, and be inspired. I clothe myself in love and self-love, the desire to be free, totally free from my past.
Just like Martin Luther King, I too have a dream. A dream to be free from every depressive mental habit associated with my past. A completely transformed mind. Lockdown has not been nice, but it has given me the push and motivation to fight for my dreams, and dream BIG
You know this because you’ve heard it a million times. If you want something bad enough, you have to fight for it. Dreaming about it is not enough. I spent years dreaming, expecting God to do all the work, but the bible says, “I can do all things THOUGH Christ who strengthens me.” not Christ who does all things for me.
What apparel do you need to change today?
Who do you need to call for help?
My change of garments come in the form of a mentor because even mentors need mentoring. This change of garment may require me growing into it – flashback to my younger years when my mum purchased everything two sizes big, explaining I would grow into it.
What do you need to do to ensure you don’t just get up, but you get up, get dressed, and show up for the camera?
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